This is one of my favorite posts from the past and that’s why I’m reposting it today.
Labor Day was created to honor the American worker and the labor movement. But when I was growing up, Labor Day meant three things to me. Of course, there’s the last summer picnic and the day before the new school year started—which isn’t true anymore since school has been going on for at least two weeks now. And I was always told, “Don’t wear white after Labor Day.” Which got me thinking about the “fashion” rules I grew up with.
Don’t Wear White After Labor Day
This was one of those things my mother was firm with. We put away the whites on Labor Day weekend and couldn’t take them out again until Memorial Day. Shoes too, except for sneakers because back then they only came in white or black, and who needed more than one pair of sneakers?
My mother was so strict with this rule that on Easter I can remember being in a pale yellow dress with a white ribbon around the waist, a matching jacket, and a white ribbon in my hair while wearing black patent leather shoes. I was so disappointed that she didn’t buy me the white shoes that Easter.
I read somewhere that this might have been a “rule” made up by old money snobs who were trying to disassociate themselves from all those “vulgar” new money women. By creating fashion rules but not sharing them. It didn’t matter how much money was spent on an outfit, if it didn’t have the right color or the right sleeve length for an event, then that person was snubbed.
Another thing that I read was it might have just been a way to change from summer/vacation mode into fall/work mode. Many people who lived in the cities, took their summer vacations at resorts or along coastal shores like Long Island or Cape Cod.
During the hot summer months out would come the white linen suits and dresses. But once summer was over, those clothes were put away for something more appropriate for the city. By the 1950’s all fashion magazines held this as a hard and fast rule.
Whether it was a rule of snobbery or just plain convenience, I’m glad that it’s not one that’s followed anymore.
Never Wear Black To A Wedding And Only The Bride Wears White
I can’t forget my mother’s shocked reaction the first time she saw bridesmaids in black dresses. She predicted doom for the marriage (turns out she was right, they were divorced less than 10 years later!) Now, all I see is the skinny, black dress at weddings, it’s a uniform at this point.
And growing up, only the bride wore white, otherwise, you were considered to be competing with the bride for attention, but now I’m starting to see more and more white dresses at weddings. At one wedding, I actually saw the mother of the groom wearing white…I wonder why. This rule was followed closely by the next one.
Only Wear Black to Funerals
Black, grays, browns, and navy were the only allowable colors when I was growing up. And the first time I broke the black rule at a funeral was for my father’s funeral. He loved to see me wear red, so I did—and my mother was ok with that.
Fall Weddings Are For Darker Colors, Spring Ones Are For Pastels
This one was a tricky rule because Mom never came right out and said it, she just modeled it (and probably made comments about someone not wearing the appropriate colors.) We weren’t above scrutiny, even after we were married. Once at a fall wedding, Mom looked at someone wearing pastel pink, then looked us up and down and said, “I’m glad to see my daughters are dressed appropriately.”
No Jeans On The First Day Of School
This might seem an unusual rule but when I was growing up, girls couldn’t even wear pants to school until I was in 5th grade (and I was a tomboy, playing kickball and marbles in dresses every day!) But for my mother, first impressions counted and the first day of school was reserved for a brand new outfit that she approved. We fought about this one year and I lost when she ripped up my jeans and threw them in the garbage.
There are other fashion rules out there, but these were my Mom’s rules that we needed to follow. I’ve loved to hear what “fashion” rules you needed to stick to when you were growing up.
I still adhere to only the bride wearing white at a wedding. It seems oddly competing otherwise (though silver is okay). My mom was also very strict on the white after Labor Day (I am not). And her personal rules on shorts ran with Memorial Day-Labor Day (as in, you could only wear them between those dates…made for some hot starts to the school year.
Wow. No shorts after Labor Day. Can you imagine going to school in yesterday’s heat with that rule? Thanks for stopping by.
The main rules growing up were to never go out naked, always make sure your clothes are not inside out and wear your shoes on the correct feet. I struggled with the last two until I was 38 and then when menopause hit I struggled with all three. ? Great article Jennifer – most of what you say is true of UK culture too. I have seen some weird and wonderful colors at weddings in the last few years!
Lol. I’m guessing right now the only fashion rule there is is to not go outside naked. Near naked is OK, but naked crosses a line.
New dress at Easter every year. It might be homemade & come to think of it, it usually was. Straw handbags only during the summer. White straw handbags only during the summer.
I remember when girls were finally allowed to wear pants to school.
I still feel funny wearing white after Labor Day. Old habit die hard. 🙂
I know. I feel like I’m getting away with something when I wear white after Labor Day. 🙂
We had no rules. Which might account for my lack of style at 43. I do have food and drink rules to break though. White wine with fish, red with meat. Drink whatever you want!
White wine, not only do I drink it with everything but because my teeth are sensitive, I never chill it.
I’ve been following a blog on Meghan Markle and her outfits – and the number of comments about what colour she wears to a wedding just flabbergasts me. I thought all of those funny little rules were long gone, but they still seem to be hanging around so they can be used to judge people! We don’t have a white rule or Labour Day rule in Australia so at least that’s one I can ignore 🙂 But the no black to a wedding and no white to a funeral still hangs on grimly.
Perhaps it’s a Northern Hemisphere thing because we’re going into fall and winter. Because of that, I believe the “no white after Labor Day” was an attempt to keep white shoes and clothes clean. The other theory is that it was based on snobbery. The old, elite rich created “fashion” rules that the nouveau riche were not aware of. So if you showed up to an event in an expensive item, but it was in the wrong color or had the wrong sleeve length, the elite rich would snub you.
Oh wow. Now you’ve done it. Entertained me and depressed me — all at the same time! When I was in school, back before the Earth cooled, we girls had to wear dresses or skirts. And not only dresses or skirts, but they had to touch the floor if we were asked to kneel (in a test of dress length, not religion). This caused understandable havoc during the Sixties and the advent of the mini. So what did we enterprising girls do? We wore ‘normal-length’ skirts, and then rolled them at the waist to achieve the desired mini length after being ‘tested’. Worked like a charm.
Lol. I didn’t have to suffer through that. The dress code changed when I was in 4th or 5th grade. And after that pants became my uniform…mainly jeans! I’m glad I entertained you!
I’m not sure if they are outdated or not, but I still stick to these rules also. Kinda silly I suppose
Girls could only wear dresses or skirts and they needed to be knee-length. Any shorter and we were sent home. Last week I heard a story on the news about a California community where students can wear anything they want, including bras and no tops, pajamas and short shorts… I’m shocked! Brenda
I’m very supportive of the new dress code in that school. It was made in conjunction with the kids and while bra’s and underwear are not appropriate, jammies are. The purpose of the dress code was to not only get the kids involved but to stop the girl shaming that happens in most schools. The new dress code is basically telling all students that it doesn’t matter how a person dresses they still have to control their own behavior. (As opposed to telling a girl they can’t wear tight t-shirts and mini skirts because boys won’t be able to control themselves if they do.)
It took me a long time to get around to this type of thinking when I worked in the Corporate world. I was one of the managers that felt a strict dress code needed to be in place. But when we relaxed the code and basically allowed them to wear anything the employees started performing better and most (not all, but most) employees followed the previous dress code.
I grew up in Hawaii in the 70s with some weird hippie parents who did not even adhere to the don’t go outside naked rule. I think I wore just shorts or swimsuit bottoms to keep the sand off unless i went to the store or school where no shirt no shoes no service was a valid threat! the funny thing though was we had to dress up on Sundays. we may or may not have to attend church but we still had to wear our best dress and socks! I dreaded socks into my adult life until I moved to Colorado where it was COLD if you did not. I always wondered what all the rules were. I remember hearing my mom say she was not allowed to wear pink since she had red hair but her sister was since she was a brunette and she was jealous!
I hope your mom wore pink when she got older! Growing up in shorts and swimsuits was the dream. That was my entire summer. I was allowed to run around like a wild child all summer and didn’t even go to church but once Labor Day came all of that went away and I had to follow “the rules.”
We don’t have much in the way of seasons where I live so most of the rules don’t apply. I don’t usually wear white because I always spill something on it and can never get the stain out. I don’t wear jeans because I’ve never liked them. (I know, I’m weird) I haven’t gone to too many weddings or funerals but mostly wear dark colors so I won’t look chubby in photos.
I remember when tights came out. I was in fifth grade and it was so nice to have something on my legs to keep my snow boots from rubbing. No pants for girls in school.
I was lucky because I was in 4th or 5th when the dress code changed and we could wear pants. But I remember being put into pretty pants suits that my mother selected for her tomboy. It wasn’t until I was in middle school that she allowed me to wear jeans, but never on the first day.
My Mother was a stickler to the no whites after Labor day and before Memorial day. On February vacations when we would fly from Boston to Miami, we could wear white printed shirts but no white shorts or skirts!
As an adult I have been to several funerals that are themed, wear Hawaiian dress or shirts, Disco wear, your best 80’s style, all white, and the most recent, outdoor wear. Oh how things change!
Can’t imagine wearing only dark colors in Miami during February break. Because I know those temps are still in the 80’s.
Living in Los Angeles we break all the rules because the weather doesn’t change very much. For some reason I haven’t been to many weddings or funerals so I have no clue what to wear. And, my kids are taking their time. I would say we try to dress eccentrically whenever possible.