My Mother turned 98 yesterday. Yes. 98. Last year around Mother’s Day, I shared a post called Mommyisms Funny Things Mother Said. The post was about the things that all Mom’s say like “Because I said so, that’s why.” For her birthday, I thought I’d share Mommyisms that could only come out of the mouth of my Mother.
My Mother Is Different Than Your Mother
My Mother hates being dependent on her children. It was bad enough when it was just car rides to the Doctor or the grocery store. But now, she can’t go to the grocery store without a wheelchair and she hates being wheeled around in one, so she doesn’t go. She tells us that she’s sorry that we have to waste our time with an old lady. My sister told her that we do it because we love her and reminded her that she used to do it for her own Mother when she was ill. My Mother said, “That was different. She was my Mother.”
What Color Is Your Hair?
My parents belonged to several organizations and would to go to events with other couples. Sometimes they would drive and sometimes the other couple. One couple, in particular, lived nearby and they used to ride together all the time. Once, Mother got into the backseat behind the husband and asked him when his hair started going salt and pepper. She said she hadn’t noticed it before. Everyone else in the car started laughing. He told her it was a wig and reminded her that he started going bald while they were in high school together over 30 years previously.
What Do Pussy Willows And Richards Have In Common?
Once, while driving with my Mother, I experienced a bout of road rage and yelled “Dick!” at a driver who cut me off. My Mother looked at me and in all innocence asked, “Do you know him?” I was confused at first until I realized that she thought I was yelling out someone’s name, not a profanity.
But that does not even compare to the Pussy Willow tree incident. Half of her Pussy Willow tree had died and my nephew came by to cut it back. He asked her if she wanted him to cut down the whole tree and my mother said, “No. It still grows nice pussies.” My nephew and Father started laughing. She said “What’s so funny? All I said was that it still grows nice pussies.” My nephew was on the floor laughing and begging his Grandma to stop.
Yes. My mother seriously said that. (And yes, I had to explain it to her all over again when I read this post to her.)
Don’t Bother Me When My Games Are On
My Mother is a huge Red Sox fan and an even bigger Uconn Women’s Basketball fan. She watches every game. One night a few years ago my brother and I were both visiting my mother. We were chatting and laughing and having a good time. Then my Mother sat up and asked what time it was. I told her it was 7 pm and she grabbed her remote and turned on the TV. As she turned to watch the TV she dismissed us saying, “The girls game is starting. Don’t forget to lock the door on your way out.”
What’s In A Name
My parents named all of their children with names that begin with the letter J. We are Judith, Joanne, Jonathan, Joseph (aka Jay) and Jennifer. I don’t know why it just happened that way. Funny thing is, it caused problems for my mother when trying to remember our names. This was especially true when she was mad. She would start at the top of the list and run through our names just using the first syllable. “Jud, Jo, Jon, Jay, Jen!” Usually, after going through the list, she still was so mad she couldn’t get out the name and would yell, “You know who you are!” And yes, we usually did….but we weren’t going to admit it.
My name is Jennifer. It’s on my birth certificate and it’s how I introduce myself. My sister Joanne used to call me Jenner (she was allowed, she was 15 years older than me.) My friends just call me Jenn. But to my Mother, I am simply…..Joanne.
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BTW, if you want to know the secret of long life, I swear it’s laughter. Up until a year ago, Mother and her friends from high school (class of 1937) would still get together weekly for cards and laughter. But my Mother will tell you that the secret is that she brought a bottle of water back from The Fountain of Youth and drank it with her friends.
In 2003, when she was 84, we were in St. Augustine, Florida and she insisted I take her to the Fountain of Youth. It’s part of Ponce de Leon’s Archaeological Park, which is set on the original site of our nation’s oldest European city. She brought a bottle of the water home to drink with her friends. Below is a picture of all of them, it was in the local paper around the time of my Mother’s 90th birthday. Today, eight years later, all but one of them is still alive. So you’ll have to decide which is the secret of long life.
Your mom! 98. God love her! And how lucky you are to have her. What an inspiration she is. Sounds like so much fun!
She is a lot of fun. And she is funny, especially when she doesn’t know it!
Wow 98! That is awesome and she sounds like an awesome woman. This post made me laugh hard lol Especially the willow tree comment haha
That is an amazing age to be – she’s seen so much change in the world – and yet she still played cards with her friends for all those years – and she laughs – I think she’d be a fantastic person to have for a mum!
She is amazing. And she loves to laugh, even at herself.
You come from good stock–and obviously inherited your mom’s sense of humor (albeit with a tad more awareness of slang)! Sweet and funny post.
She has a great sense of humor but not a dirty one.
Oh, Jennifer, I loved reading this. I can hear Auntie Dor saying those things. I remember when you drove to an Amaranth convention in California and she gave your Dad her blood pressure meds cuz he was making her nervous (at least that’s the story I was told). Her BP was perfect.
“You’re making me nervous” is her excuse for anything, especially eating peanut butter crackers!
Thank you for this. My mom was 90 when she passed three weeks ago. Her brain was still sharp, but her body didn’t cooperate. One of my favorite momisms, said to me when I was learning to drive: “Never hit a police car.” Almost 50 years later, the whole family still says it whenever we see one.
Oh. Now that is priceless. Yes Mom, I’ll try to not hit a cop!
Oh Joann I love this glimpse into your motherisms. There are a lot of baseball games… that is quite a commitment. The pussy thing has me laughing.
Thanks Amy! You’ll never be able to look at pussy willows again without hearing that line.
Oh my goodness, what a wonderful lady your mom is! Happy 98th and many birthdays more. This is such a lovely post , Jenn ? How blessed are you to have your sweet mom for so long. I hope, my mommy will live that long … at least!
Thank you Klaudia. I hope you’re blessed with having your Mom around for a long time!
Your mother sounds like a funny and wonderful person. It’s great to have good parents to take care of like they took care of you.
Yes. I was very lucky in the parents department.
Wow, 98. God love her! And I must say you are lucky to have her that too healthy, happy and smiling even in this age, …she is an inspiration Sounds like such great fun!
Thank you. We are lucky to have her!
Love it Jennifer. Love travelling though I do miss my Mum!!
Hysterical, loved this. thank you
Glad you stopped by to enjoy it.
Wow, such pressure! I really don’t have a quirky or creative response….just wanted to tell you that you post made me laugh! I plan to live a long time 🙂
I’m glad I made you laugh. That means you are well on your way to a long life! 🙂
Amazing…..mothers are amazing creatures!!
Mine hates it when I go to her doctor’s appointments with her—she says it makes her feel like an old lady (but she is..ha ha)
XOXO
Haha. My Mother wants me there until I start telling the Doctor the truth about what’s going on with her. I’ll take her in because her abnormally high blood pressure has spiked above 200 (she normally hovers around 180 over 100) and she starts telling the Doctor about a twitch in her elbow that’s driving her crazy. Hey, what about the 200 BP?
Happy belated birthday to your Mom! She sounds like someone I would truly enjoy. <3
Oh, I think you would enjoy her. She’s really feisty.
What a beautiful mother you have! My grandma is 104, can you believe it?
104? That’s fantastic! I’ve known a couple of women who’ve made it to 104 and beyond. One woman was diabetic and at her 104th birthday party, her nurse told her she couldn’t have any cake. She looked right at her and said: “At 104 if I can’t have cake, what’s the point?” Then she walked out of the nursing home, was taken to her party and enjoyed the cake and lived a couple of more years.
Wow 98! She sounds great! I love that if you yell ‘dick’ at someone, she just assumes that you know ‘Richard’!
Omg. It was so funny at the time because when I explained what it meant she declared that she would no longer get call her friend Dick a dick she would just call him Richard.
I’m sure my co-workers think I’m a loon but I’ve been cracking laughs.
98, eh? Maybe the secret is laughter AND fountain of youth water. They might interact in a pleasantly, bubbly, health-improving way!
There’s a thought, maybe it is the combination. We’ll all have to meet in St. Augustine, drink the water while Gary is telling jokes.
My nana didn’t know “dickhead” was swearing and would say it all the time until we told her she was mortified! I wonder if that water really is the trick?!
I LOVE your Mommy-isms – thanks so much for pointing us toward more of them in honor of your mama’s birthday! 🙂 She truly is a hoot! 🙂 May we all live as long, healthy, and sharp-witted a life as she has!
My mother really is a hoot…and she doesn’t even know it. But everything I post about what she does or says has all been preapproved by her.