Being creative is hard. Not only is it hard work to “create” our work, but it’s hard work to overcome our fears about being creative. I know I have fears, some are in the past, but some still stay with me. The key is learning how to overcome our creative fears so that we can continue to create.
The first step in overcoming fear is to take stock of what they are. Are you afraid of sharing yourself? Are you concerned you might not be any good or that people won’t like your work? Some of these fears can be paralyzing and stop you from creating. Or you might create, but you never share your work because of these fears. So we need to figure out how to stay creative while addressing and conquering our fears.
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I Feel So Exposed
Everything we create is an extension of ourselves. Whether it’s a painting, a song, or a story, you left a part of yourself in it. Maybe it’s a character you love, a story from your life or a song about a lost love, our inner self is intricately woven into the fabric of our art. Sharing it means you’re exposing that part of you. That messy side with real emotions and real problems. And it means that people are going to see it or hear it or read it.
[clickToTweet tweet=”Our inner self is intricately woven into the fabric of our art” quote=”our inner self is intricately woven into the fabric of our art”]
I don’t know about you, but this was my biggest fear. I tend to be a private person, I don’t share a lot of what’s going on with me. Back in 2002, I quit smoking, it was six months before anyone noticed because I never talked about. That’s how private I was. Imagine how I felt when Facebook came along? But I credit Facebook and my husband with helping me to be more comfortable in sharing myself.
My husband shares. He talks to almost anyone about anything. I’ve never been like that. In my first marriage, there were a lot of things that I never talked about with my then husband. Mainly because there was no point. And I stayed that way for many years. But when I met Chris and he was so open about everything, I started sharing everything with him. That was the first step, but I still wasn’t comfortable sharing with others. Then along came Facebook, with everyone sharing their pictures and vacations. So much sharing, it made me antsy at first, but then, slowly, I started to do it too. I think that both of these things were critical steps in my path to sharing my work.
Eventually, I started a blog, but I was still being private about it. Except for my husband, no one else, that I personally knew, was aware that I had a blog. Instead, I created “blogging” friendships. I blogged for 3 years before I finally had the courage to share with my family which I wrote about in This is My Ultimate Fear. I was 54 years old.
What If People Don’t Like Me?
See that question? That’s the problem. It’s not that people will not like me. It’s possible that they won’t like my work. The real question is probably….what if I’m not any good? But instead, we make it personal (because after all, I am a “part” of what I create….so they must not like me!) This is hard for any of us to get over because we do take it personally. When I was in school I used to hate having my papers critiqued. If there was feedback of any kind, I took it so personally. How ridiculous to get upset over being told I had a run on sentence? By the time I was done with school, I was pre-editing (editing while still writing) my work so much that I never finished anything. I actually stopped writing for almost twenty years.
Then I found Morning Pages in Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way. It changed my life. I know, it sounds dramatic, but it’s true. By writing three pages of whatever every single morning, it not only got me into a habit of writing, but it taught me to stop pre-editing. It gave me permission to write crap. How freeing. You can’t go back and change things, you can’t edit it you just have to keep writing. You write whatever comes to your mind until those three pages are filled.
I may have gone from one extreme (pre-editing) to another extreme (no editing) but after awhile, I was able to find the middle. Writing and then editing afterward. In doing so, I learned that it’s about the work, it’s not about me. Of course, for years, I was still only sharing my work with strangers, but that was so helpful. I was getting feedback from people I didn’t really know, but who were trying to help me and I was able to step back from my work and not take it personally. Considering that we often are more critical of our work than others are, it’s really important to get that outside feedback. Maybe the Morning Pages helped or maybe it was getting older that helped. There is nothing quite so motivating as realizing you have more years behind you than ahead of you!
There is something else I learned that helped. I can’t be all things to all people. If you don’t like my work, it’s probably because the work isn’t meant for you. (There’s the slight chance that it’s because it sucks, but more than likely it’s because you just don’t want to read what I’ve written.) I don’t read every blog out there. I’m not big on food blogs I might find a recipe that I like, but poke my eyes out if all I do is read recipes all day. Who can do that? I’ll tell you who, my husband. He’s a chef and that is the blog he wants to read. Good. It’s the niche for him, but not for me. So I recognize that I might not be your niche and that’s ok.
Keep that in mind. If someone is giving you valid feedback on sentence structure, grammar or the way you are framing your thoughts: Stop and listen. But if their feedback is more along the lines of what they like and what they don’t like, then it’s probably that you are not their niche. Let it go. Yes, I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s something that you should practice.
Keep Trying. Keep Practicing
The first time I created a blog was in 2011. I deleted it after a couple of months. Even though no one was reading it because no one knew about it, I was still afraid that someone would read it. I panicked one day and deleted the whole thing and canceled the domain. Two years later, I went back to try again. That’s the blog you’re reading right now. At first, I was still a little uncomfortable with posting what I wrote, so I started doing something that I keep up even now. I set all my posts to publish at 4 am in the morning. I’m not awake, I’m not thinking about them. They publish without me. Even though it seems odd, it took a lot of the pressure off of me to hit the publish button (what if I still have to adjust it some more?) Now all I’m doing is hitting schedule and I know I have time to edit it if I need to.
Do you ever get panicked when you’re getting ready to hit publish on a post? What works for you?
I love this times ten because there is so much in here that I relate to, so much that sounds just like me. I’m very curious about the Morning Pages. I am taking a class and the instructor highly recommends Cameron’s book and the Morning Pages process. So I have a brand new notebook ready to go, a copy of the book from the library (and my own copy on the way from Amazon). I can tell it will be a good thing for me. But. I kind of struggle with the timing of the morning pages. I already have to get up at 5AM to get a workout and shower in before my husband needs the shower and my daughter is awake. Not sure where to fit the morning pages if it’s to be the first thing…that means getting up at 4:30 AM??? I’m thinking no…so this is why I’m still thinking about them rather than doing them. I’d love to get your thoughts – send me a message on FB when you have a minute?
Wow. You’re already a morning person with an agenda. I must confess that before Morning Pages I wasn’t getting up early, just early enough to shower and leave for work. I’ll message you.
Well, no…I’m very much an anti-morning person with hope for an agenda. LOL I get up, throw on clothes, and boogie out the door to take kid to school. It’s just that I realize I have to adjust that in order to accomplish all that I want to. I’ll look forward to your message!
I sent you aFB message. I hope it’s going to the right account.
Loved this post. We can’t overthink what we create. That sucks the joy out of the process. I’m learning not to take it too seriously. When I hit publish, I immediately panic that I have horrible spelling errors, and then I relax because that’s what “edit” buttons are for…phew!
Exactly. There are a couple of times that my post published and it contained spelling errors. I just fix it quickly and update.
This is too true. I still struggle separating “I’m not good” with “my work needs improvement.” Eddie my inner Editor is always my first responder, and usually has something to say before I even get started.
I better get writing again…
Gabe, maybe you should try Morning Pages. No editing allowed and you can just write crap for three pages. Shakes out the cobwebs and gets you used to the idea of not editing while you write. Time enough for that later. And yes, we all need to step back from our writing and not tie our self-worth into whether or not our writing needs a period instead of a comma.
This is really good because it’s something most of us feel but don’t talk about. I like your honesty! I love that you schedule your posts for 4am!
4 am is the best time. It publishes while I sleep and I don’t have to agonize over it. And really, sometimes I’m just addressing my fears in this blog. That other people have them too is such a relief. I’m not alone!
I don’t think you’re alone at all with those fears!! All the best!!
Thanks Deb. I think k we get into our own heads too much and think we’re the o ly o e with these problems but then find out every one has them.
Julia Cameron’s The Arists Way started me off writing too, probably about ten years ago now. Nothing like morning pages to get you into the habit.
Yes. If I hadn’t found The Artists Way, I’m not sure that I would be writing like I do today.
I can really identify with your post Jennifer. I don’t really think I’m very creative and it didn’t help when my sister-in-law once said ‘Well, I’m creative and you’re not!’ didn’t really fill me with confidence. I publish my posts and 1am and my newsletter at 4am maybe it is because as you say they publish when you aren’t awake and not thinking about them. Otherwise I probably would press the publish button. Another great post! Thanks
Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond
Wow. Not nice on the part of your sister in law. I think you’re very creative. Bit it helps to schedule the post during our sleep!
It’s great to read this Jennifer! I know they say even creativity can be learned and writing needs practice. But there are so many times, I know I could be better….and I’m impatient!! But not editing–that would be the best??
Jodie
Your outlook is so refreshing! It’s important to embrace that we may not all be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay!!
Also, I’m going to look into the Morning Pages for Tony, thanks!
Yes, it’s hard to remember, but we can’t be all things to all people. In life or in writing. Morning pages will be great for Tony.
I don’t shy away from much. But when I lost someone I thought was a friend because she thought a political position I held about privilege was horrifying, it shook me. I still don’t shy away, though. I just don’t.
It shakes you and then you get back to doing what you need to do because it’s part of who you are.
My creativity is all over the place. Sometimes I feel I try too hard and other times it feels very strong. I am working on putting myself more out there with my writing. Mostly I like doing it in short stories so it looks fiction based.
You are so creative
Keep putting it out there.
That fear of exposure is paralyzing. Fear that I’ll be found out as an imposter, a pretender or just plain crappy! As a lifelong people pleaser, I didn’t know which would be harder, being ignored or rejected. It turns out both pretty much suck 😉 but you do survive to write another day! Great, honest post, Jennifer! And we’re so glad you overcame your fear and shared your work!
I get that fear of being read and not liked juxtaposed to the fear of NOT being read at all. Both can be agonizing.
I have these fears. It is really hard. Insightful advice here.