It’s post-Thanksgiving and after the week we had, another round of Mommyisms seems just about right. Mommyisms are those things that only a Mother could say and in this case, it’s specifically my Mother. It’s time to laugh with these 3 new Mommyisms.
On Weddings
When I first met the man who would become my second husband, I did not ever want to get married again. The divorce from my ex-husband was so long, so acrimonious, and cost me so much money that I just didn’t want to get tied to another person in that way again. Chris and I were together for several years before I felt like it was going to work out. All the while, my Mother continued to ask when we would get married and tell me she didn’t like that we were living together. When I finally decided I was ready to get married again, we just decided to elope and tell everyone afterward. After the ceremony, I called my Mother to tell her. She said, “You made me happy, I’m going to hang up now so I can cry.” Which she did. She just hung up the phone without another word and then called her neighbor and they drank wine together and laughed about Chris and I getting married on a Thursday.
President Lincoln is Here
Mother has a lot of allergies to just about anything. Sending her to the hospital is like playing a game of chance. You roll the dice and hope that they read the right chart (there was another woman in town with her same name.) You roll the dice and hope that they read the chart correctly and don’t give her the wrong drug. You roll the dice and hope that we don’t find out about a new allergy after they’ve given her a new drug. We don’t always win on those dice rolls, but sometimes this can result in hilarious situations.
A few years ago, Mother was in the hospital for a simple operation, which went very well. They were planning to send her home the next day and my sister and I went to visit her. When we got there, we heard her talking to someone but we were surprised to find no one in the room. Mother was having a very animated back and forth conversation with an empty chair. When she saw us, she turned and introduced us to President Lincoln. The nurse came in and said the Doctor was releasing her that afternoon and we immediately told her that we would not be taking her because of the hallucination she was having.
We went back the next day to find that not only was President Lincoln in the room but that Dad had visited her in the night (he died 5 years previously) and that they were serenaded by (follow this one….) Boys II Men’s Grandfathers. The Doctor then came in to tell us that he couldn’t keep her anymore and we turned to him and said, “You broke her. You have to fix her.” We refused to take her home until the hallucinations stopped and we made it clear that she didn’t come in with any and we wouldn’t take her home while she was still having them.
The next day, we came in and the hallucinations were gone. We couldn’t believe it. Mother said that the night before they gave her a bath and discovered that there were still two anti-nausea patches behind her ears. Once the patches were gone, the hallucinations slowly went away and by the next day, she didn’t have more. She remembers all of the hallucinations and we still laugh about it today.
Oops I Did It Again!
Last week, Mother was back in the hospital, this time because of an infection that wasn’t going away. She needed IV antibiotics, but my Mother is, of course, allergic to things like Penicillin and other antibiotics. So the Doctor had to really search for something that would work and that she wasn’t allergic to. She was in the hospital for a couple of days and each time I visited, she was lucid, antsy to get home, and not showing any signs of problems with the antibiotic that she was on. What a relief.
But when we got her home she started talking and talking and talking. Although I was responding to her, I realized that she wasn’t talking to me. And then she asked who the children were that were playing in the corner. I told her no one was there. She didn’t believe me at first. I gave her the nighttime dose of her antibiotic and helped her to bed.
Although she was seeing children, it was all harmless, they were playing in the corners or sitting in a chair talking to her. Plus she was extremely tired after a week of not getting a lot of sleep while at the hospital. But at 3:00 am in the morning, she woke us up because of her hallucinations. I called her Doctor told him I wasn’t giving her another dose and that we needed a new prescription. He called one in immediately and so far she isn’t having any problems with it.
But that made me realize that something she told me was a dream while she was at the hospital must have been a hallucination. She said she had a dream and that she was confused when she woke from it and thought the people in the dream were still in the room with the Nurse who had just come in. It was this dream or hallucination that brings us this next Mommyism.
Mother said that she dreamed she planned the meal that we would have after her own funeral. In fact, she actually made me write it down and it now hangs on our Fridge. While she was going through the list of things, she asked me what we should put out for dessert. Then she said, “I can’t make any pies. I won’t be there.”
Instant classic.
Additional Mommyisms can be found at:
Mommyisms: Funny Things My Mother Said Part I
Mommyisms: Funny Things My Mother Said Part II
Glad your Mom is home and no longer hallucinating. You are right to be very worried about what will happen in a hospital. I’ve had way too much experience as a nurse to ever trust that things will go well and that people will get the right medications. Your Mom is a hoot! I love her comment about the pies.
Thanks, Molly. She is a hoot and that pie comment will go down as one of her all time best!
Your mum sounds like a giggle!
I am glad she is feeling better and no longer hallucinating. It is so strange that antibiotics can do that to her!!
You should read the other Mommyisms posts to fully understand how much of a giggle she really is. Her doctor says that her age can have a lot to do with it as well. She never experienced hallucinations from an allergic reaction until she was already into her 90’s.
Oooh my Grandma is in her 90s – maybe this will be next!
Luckily, these only happen as an allergic reaction to whatever drug is being given. So as long as your Grandma doesn’t have an allergic reaction to a drug, she should be fine. Although there is something pretty unique about having my Mother look right past me to have a conversation with an invisible person.
I guess it is one of those things that you can either laugh about, or find completely terrifying. Laughing about it is way more healthy!
Sometimes the laughter is hysterical but at least we’re laughing.
Oh my gosh I love this! My mom would definitely say something like, “I’m going to hang up now, so I can cry.” Pure gold! Thank you for sharing these! 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed this. Would your Mom actually hang up without saying good-bye?
Haha oh yeah!
My daughter eloped and was married in Cinque Terre. I didn’t say I would get off the phone and cry but I did as I was so happy for her to have the wedding she wanted. Although your Mum’s experiences aren’t funny at the time, I smiled when I read about her conversation with President Lincoln and then being serenaded by BoysII Men’s Grandfathers and also about her menu for her funeral. I’m glad your Mum is okay, it is frightening what some medications can do and also that hospitals could even think about sending her home while she was in that state is disgraceful. Give your Mum a big hug and have a beautiful week. x
Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond
Thanks, Sue. Yes, on the one hand, I think it’s shameful how they try to push people out of the hospitals, but on the other hand, I understand that there are worse things than hallucinating because of medication. They try to move you out fast because hospitals are breeding grounds for MRSA and other infections. They want to move people out as quickly as possible, especially the elderly who have a weakened immune system. The fun thing with my Mother is that we usually laugh about things like this while they are happening. How can you not laugh about Boys II Men’s Grandfathers? But this time around, they took a scary turn when she started seeing children suffocating in her bedroom at 3am in the morning. Luckily I forgot to give her the Life Alert that night or she would have had the Fire Dept. breaking down our door to save these imaginary children. So grateful that once the antibiotic got out of her system that the hallucinations stopped.
Your mother sounds like quite a character with a great sense of humor. I hope she’s feeling much better and is back to normal.
Yes. She’s starting to feel better. Takes longer at 98
The pie comment sounds like something my mom would say too.
The thing I want to know is can the Boys II Men’s grandfathers sing too?
I’ve always wanted to know if they could sing!
I don’t look forward to old age, especially as I am allergic to many antibiotics, but knowing that I can look forward to visits from President Lincoln (I was nearly a history major and I would enjoy such a visit) – in a strange way it makes me feel better. And, by the way, this stuff isn’t confined to old age. When I was in my late teens I was sick for about three weeks – they never figured out why, but at one point I ran a high fever and I remember writing my will while I was in a semi-hallucinogenic state. Just imagine how i would plan my post funeral dinner- I already know what my dessert will be, and we will get it from a bakery.
You mean you’re not going to make the desserts for your own funeral?
I love the fact you got married on a Thursday seemed to crack your mother and her friend up!! So funny
Her neighbor didn’t believe her at first because who gets married on a Thursday? Then they finished a whole bottle of wine laughing over it.
I got married on a Thursday too & my daughter is getting married on a Wednesday! ?
I knew I liked you for more than just your blog Linda!
I did giggle at your mum’s hallucination/dream of the meal you would eat after her funeral & worrying about what you’d eat for dessert! Talking of food, just before my dad died, my mum, husband & I were at his bedside whilst he slept and we were getting hungry so we managed to get a fish & chips takeaway & ate by his bedside. About half an hour later my dad passed away peacefully. Later, after chatting to my mother in law, she announced that when she is on her deathbed, she too would rather like to die in a room that smelt of fish & chips! LOL!
Mummyisms – you can’t beat them! ?
That’s funny, but that would not be anything that I would want to smell on my deathbed!
I love her humor with the pie comment and I love how she made you write down the meal plan after her funeral. It’s something that I would do myself. 🙂
She is humorous, especially when she’s not trying to be. And you can be sure that I wrote it down, she would never forgive me if I didn’t! LOL
These are such fun and precious memories! You and your family will always be glad that you documented them!
Fun memories. My mom was full of these little gems as well.
And our children probably have some funny ones that we say!