April 6th is Epitaph Day. And yes, I know that sounds like an odd way to start a blog post. But I must ask, what do you want your epitaph to say?
I’m not really talking about a funny epitaph, although there are some good ones out there.
Fran Thatcher
“Damn it’s dark down here.”
a
John Yeast
“Pardon me for not rising.”
a
Ludolph Van Ceulen (first person to determine the value of PI to 35 digits)
“3.14159265358979323846264338327950288…”
a
Spike Milligan
“I told you I was ill.”
a
Rodney Dangerfield
“There goes the neighborhood.”
Then there are serious epitaphs that tell you the story of the person who is buried there or perhaps the cause that they were fighting for. For instance, Leonard Matlovich was the first gay serviceman to purposely out himself in the military to fight for gay rights. His tombstone doesn’t even have his name on it. It simply reads:
A Gay Vietnam Veteran
When I was in the military
They gave me a medal for killing two men
And a discharge for loving one.
a
Martin Luther King Jr.
“Free at last. Free at last.
Thank God Almighty
I’m Free at last.”
So serious, and yet these epitaphs say so much about them. When you read them, you understand who they were and what their life was about.
And that’s what I want you to think about. I think asking yourself what you want as your epitaph is an important question. Is it enough to merely go through life existing, going from home to work to home again? Or do you want more? If you want more, you need to know where you’re going and why you want to go there. You only get one shot at this thing called life, let’s make it worth talking about.
I’m not here to judge what you think is important. That’s up to you. But it is important for you to figure out what it is you want to accomplish in life. That’s an important part of Vision Board and Goal Planning. Thinking about the end of your life is one of the first steps in planning for your goals.
- What would you regret not having done or at least tried by the end of your life?
- What do you hope to accomplish before you die?
- What do you want to be said about you at your funeral?
- What do you want to be written on your gravestone, what do you want your epitaph to be?
In The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying, author Bronnie Ware discusses the impact that working as a palliative care nurse had on her life. One thing that stood out for her was the most common regret that her dying patients had which was to be true to themselves. They wished they had the courage to live the life that they wanted and not the life that others wanted or expected them to have.
So I ask again, at the end of your life…what would you regret not doing?
Here are some more examples of epitaphs that tell you about the person, but maybe in not such a serious tone as the last two.
Merv Griffin
“I will NOT be right back after this message.”
a
Jack Lemmon
in
(What I love about this one is he created it like a movie credit. After the word in, you can insert any of one of his 60 plus movies.)
a
Billy Wilder
“I’m a writer.
But then
Nobody’s perfect.”
All are simple, a little fun, and certainly, tell you about the person and what they did in their life. And now, I’ll leave you with one final quote. This one comes from an interview John Wayne did and now it’s a quote on his grave. Not something I would immediately associate with him and I’m sure if you look for quotes, you’ve seen this one before.
“Tomorrow is the most important thing in life.
Comes into us at midnight very clean.
It’s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands.
It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday.”
This is such an interesting question!!! I didn’t know that April 6 is Epitaph Day, is that worldwide or just America? Regardless, it’s an interesting question and gets me thinking of answers to the questions you pose Jennifer. It’s not something I think of everyday but sometimes I do wonder what would be said at my funeral. Some fun examples here too!
Shared for #mlstl 🙂
I’m going to be sprinkled over a favourite spot on the Great Barrier Reef so don’t expect one. 😉
Gosh, I’m going to have to think on this!
Your post has not got me thinking.. I’ve never thought about it before x
Thanks for stopping by and I’m glad I got you thinking!
Hi Jennifer! I agree that it is very important to consider how we want to “finish up” our lives. If we just leave everything to chance, there is a good “chance” that we’ll get just more of the same. I think too many people think if they don’t think about it, it won’t happen. Unfortunately, that hasn’t worked for anyone so far. And because I don’t have children, I’m not going to just wait and see. My husband and I have talked about different alternatives and I feel good about that. As for my epitaph…I think something from Mary Oliver would be nice…How about?
“When it’s over, I want to say all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.”
~Kathy
Exactly. It’s so important to consider what you actually want to do and so important to involve your partner in these discussions.
Did my comment go to moderation?
I’m not sure why your comment went to moderation. Only first-time commenters are supposed to go that route and I know you’ve commented in the past, Kathy. Just the whims of WP today?
I’ve given quite a bit of thought to my funeral Jennifer (I think I’m slightly morbid that way) but more in regard to what songs I’d choose and my coffin etc. My husband says he won’t bother with a eulogy – he’ll just give everyone a link to my blog and be done with it!
Thanks for linking up with us at MLSTL and I’ve shared on my SM 🙂
Such a practical man. Thanks for stopping by, Leanne.
Interesting question, Jennifer! I’ve thought about how I want to live my life and have been able to live an interesting and rich life to date with gratitude. #MLSTL
And that is what’s important! Thanks for stopping by.
While I have no intention of taking up real estate, a Bios Urn is more to my liking, I’d love to have a little sign that said “Watch where you step… Agnes tends to think outside the box.” If my Bios Urn tree dies, I want my kids to hang a sign that says “Alrighty then, guess I’m not coming back as a tree.” 🙂
Thanks for the morning laugh, Agnes. I love both of these!
Have thought a lot about this. I want mine to say I lived well and loved well!
Simple and yet so complex!
Way back at 16 in a “Living and Dying” course in high school, I had to write a Will, budget a funeral, write an obituary, etc. I also have always (for a few reasons) thought I would die very young. Yet here I still am. All that to say, I’ve thought about this type of thing lots. While I now want to be buried in the root-bulb of a tree and won’t have an epithet, I’d say I’d probably want mine to read: “Damn do-gooder.” Thanks for a thought-provoking post. #MLSTL
Thanks for stopping by, Janet. I like the idea of being buried in the root-bulb of a tree. When my brother died, we threw his ashes off a mountain that he liked to hike. I imagine that he fertilized the soil for new tree and plant growth. When my sister died, my nephew took some of her ashes and brought her to our favorite Maine lake site and buried her under a tree that looks out on the lake. It’s right next to the steps that she used to sit on to enjoy the lake view.
Geez, I don’t know. They should probably put a line item in the will for that question. Anyway. I’m reminded of the one for Mel Blanc: “That’s all folks!”
I like that one!
Frank Sinatra’s ‘I did it my way’ keeps running through my head. I guess in the end if our epitaph says we made our mistakes and learned life’s lessons while striving to love others and ourselves, you could say we’ve all done it our way. Does that make sense Jennifer? 😀 Great post and I’ll be sharing on FB and Twitter for #MLSTL
I want mine to say “She lived every day of her life.”
My dad’s was “Did it my way.” I honestly just want to be blown into the wind or in the ocean for ecological reasons.
According to Kansas, all we are is dust in the wind.